i wanna look good if i get to look god in the eye

[i'm pretty sure bailee is the only one who has a chance to get this one without cheating...sorry]

it's been really interesting to look at how we grow out of traditions as as we get older. i was thinking about this yesterday morning as i waited to go downstairs and start the christmas festivities. my family is huge on tradition- anyone who is even remotely close to us knows all about this. we become even more tradition oriented when the holidays roll around, but this year, there seem to have been some changes. more than normal. things get more casual as i get older and in a way, it makes all of the anticipation of christmas morning smaller. this year, my parents let jeff and i be downstairs on christmas eve instead of making us stay upstairs all night without looking downstairs until they let us come down on christmas morning. (granted, we were doing dishes, so it wasn't a great privilege to be downstairs...but different all the same) having to stay in the family room or my room watching movies or playing games is one of the things that defines christmas eve in my mind and it was very odd to not HAVE to do that.
as i said before, we have to stay upstairs until my parents tell us we're allowed to come down on christmas morning, but this year that changed too. my parents told us we could come down whenever we wanted to because jon and jo were going to be a little while longer and they didn't want to make us stay upstairs with nothing to do. so jeff and i decided to leave and get some coffee before we did any of the christmas morning stuff. it was just odd to be able to come down and see the tree and presents before we were going to sit down together and open them.
i guess the upstairs/downstairs boundary played a major part in the christmas morning excitement for me as i grew up and now it's not as big of a deal and it feels weird.
also, we didn't do our normal tradition of meeting with the other side of the family today. what usually happens is we'll meet with one side of the fam on christmas day and then the other on the day after...this year we don't meet with the other side until sunday.
another christmas day tradition- we have always opened presents on christmas morning and stockings on christmas night after we visit relatives. yesterday we did both presents and stockings in the morning so that jon and jo could be here for both. then when we got home from my grandparents, we didn't have anything to do.
it just felt different and weird...not necessarily bad, just weird. this christmas just hasn't felt normal to me. it came and went very quickly and i didn't feel the normal amounts of anticipation as i usually do.
all of that being said- it was also one of the most fun christmases i've had in a long time. we had lots of sibling time which really doesn't happen very often and it was great :)

I'm a hundred kinds of crazy

i am so happy right now!
i've found several new and really great musical artists in the last hour or so and i'm just sitting here enjoying them. it's so nice. i have no responsibilities for the rest of the day...just relaxing and enjoying my afternoon. this hasn't happened in weeks so i'm really excited about it. i'm going to have the house to myself which i'm pretty sure means loud music and some horrible dancing :) i can't wait. ha.
there are a ton of things other than music that are putting me in a great mood right now. jeff comes home next sunday! yay! i have no math homework...or any homework, for that matter...i've been laughing a whole lot in the last 12 hours (yes...i laughed in the middle of the night ha). i got to see/hang out with kristen yesterday. i'm trying to juggle all of the fun plans i'm making for christmas break and it's exciting. i'm just happy about everything right now. yay for good days :)

Too much to hold on, hold on to

i have tons of thoughts right now. pretty much all of them have to do with today/tonight.
this morning/afternoon was not great. tonight was fun. work was pretty lame. i'm really excited for tomorrow afternoon and night. i'm glad i wasn't in a bad mood for the whole night tonight. evan almighty is pretty funny at times. i had lots of thoughts on it but they left my brain when the movie ended. i hate getting super nervous about stuff. it just makes me depressed and feel like i'm going to throw up. i'm glowing right now, though. i'm excited for christmas. i was pleasantly surprised today. i love when unexpected things happen. good ones, that is.
sorry about all the randomness. i'm done now.

take a chance watch it fall, grab too much and lose it all

i've had a lot of things on my mind lately and i need to get them out. i like lists.

• malibu
• telling my feelings
  
• great friends
• christmas/december and family
  
• jobs
• finals
• scheduling classes for next quarter (any suggestions?)
  
• writing
• not wanting anything to do with the high school...
• the health of my grandparents
• missing old friends
• giving advice in tough areas
  
• receiving advice and trying to figure out what to do with it...
  
• being real in my faith
• honduras trip- i need girls!! (seriously. i'm not going to go if no other girls sign up.)

that's enough for now. i'm sure that i'll elaborate on at least one of these if not the majority of them very soon. i'm really excited to have some extra free time on my hands in the next few weeks.