thoughts of an elbow

this is me.

2009-04-15T11:49:00.000-07:00

from High Fidelity by Nick Hornby

"Tuesday night I reorganize my record collection; I often do this at periods of emotional stress. There are some people who would find this a pretty dull way to spend an evening, but I'm not one of them. This is my life, and it's nice to be able to wade in, immerse your arms in it, touch it.
When Laura was here I had the records arranged alphabetically; before that I had them filed in chronological order, beginning with Robert Johnson, and ending with, I don't know, Wham!, or somebody African, or whatever else I was listening to when Laura and I met. Tonight, though, I fancy something different, so I try to remember the order I bought them in: that way I hope to write my own autobiography, without having to do anything like pick up a pen. I pull the records off the shelves, put them in piles all over the the sitting room floor, look for Revolver, and go on from there; and when I've finished, I'm flushed with a sense of self, because this, after all, is who I am. I like being able to see how I got from Deep Purple to Howlin' Wolf in twenty-five moves; I am no longer pained by the memory of listening to "Sexual Healing" all the way through a period of enforced celibacy, or embarrassed by the reminder of forming a rock club at school, so that I and my fellow fifth-formers could get together and talk about Ziggy Stardust and Tommy.
But what i really like is the feeling of security I get from my new filing system; I have a couple of thousand records, and you have to be me- or, at the very least, a doctor of Flemingology- to know how to find any of them. If I want to play, say Blue by Joni Mitchell, I have to remember that I bought it for someone in the autumn of 1983, and thought better of giving it to her, for reasons I don't really want to go into. Well, you don't know any of that, so you're knackered, really aren't you? You'd have to aske me to dig it out for you and for some reason I find this enormously comforting."

another exerpt:
[about the proper arrangement of a mixed tape]
"I spent hours putting that cassette together. To me, making a tape is like writing a letter- there's a lot of erasing and rethinking and starging again, and I wanted it to be a good one, because... to be honest, because I hadn't met anyone as promising as Laura since I'd started the DJ-ing, and meeting promising women was partly what the DJ-ing was supposed to be about. A good compilation tape, like breaking up, is hard to do. You've got to kick off with a corker, to hold that attention (I started with "Got to Get You off My Mind," but then realized that she might not get any further than track one, side one if I delivered what she wanted straightaway, so i buried it in the middle of side two), and then you've got to up it a notch, or cool it a notch, and you can't have white music and black music together, unless the white music sounds like black music, and you can't have two tracks by the same artists side by side, unless you've done the whole thing in pairs, and... oh, there are loads of rules."

:)

pure wisdom

2009-03-25T14:07:00.001-07:00

it is hard for me to distinguish "good pride" from "bad pride" in my life. i don't believe that all pride is bad- without pride people would be jellyfish, with no backbone. there are things in life to be very proud of. things you've done, overcome, created, etc. but there comes a point where being proud of accomplishments turns into selfish arrogance, which is not a desirable trait.
this is a road block i have run into recently. i pride myself in my wisdom and knowledge of various topics. i pride myself in being level-headed in most situations. compliments such as "you are wise beyond your years" encourage this prideful attitude. when people i look up to come to me seeking advice, it causes my pride to get deeper. i never saw myself as being prideful in this area, but it is something that i am now realizing i need to be very cautious about. i have to watch myself and make sure i'm not using my wisdom just to show off or just because i've been complimented on it.

James 3 talks about wisdom:
"Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.
But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere."

i need to be very watchful of how/when/why i use my wisdom. i cannot boast in it. i cannot have selfish pride in it. any wisdom i have needs to be sincere and honest, used for the correct purposes.

confessions

2009-03-13T11:45:00.000-07:00

i feel like i have a lot of people i should be praying for. people that i want to pray for. sometimes prayer is the only way to help someone but i wish i could actively do more. i wish i could fix problems like disease and death and emotional hurt. i wish i could open people's eyes to a more broad perspective. i wish i could open my own eyes to a broad enough perspective to see how some decisions and actions make sense in other people's minds. i wish the things i've gone through and learned from could be taught to others and make an impact on someone.

...

i am going in a cycle, as i have for the past 3 years (and probably longer...but this is the noticable time period). each part of the cycle has a different level of intensity dependant on what is going on in my life. i've been learning to cope and healthily deal with issues, and as i do so the entire cycle is starting to lose its extremes, both highs and lows. it is encouraging to me when i see improvements like these in myself. but somehow, i miss the old cycle. why? because that was "normal" for so long. and now i have to adjust to a new normal. i dislike adjustments, even when i can see that it's so much better for me. my life hasn't gotten any less stressful or any less busy and i don't have a smaller amount of issues being thrown at me, but the difference is that i'm learning to handle these things in a better way than i did.

i used to burry my issues. i would push things down until they were manifested in my heart and mind as truth. i would believe lies until they were truth. even when someone would point out that the root of my issue could be deeper than i thought it to be, i would deny it and argue that know one could know how deep it was except me. i really didn't know that it was so deep and so harmful. i thought i knew exactly where my issues lay and all i needed to do was go through trial and error until they were fixed. i was wrong. i recently had an experience where i actually caught myself- my mind and heart- letting a lie become manifested deeper within me. for the first time, i saw and felt it happen. it was the strangest, scariest feeling. i realized that i am the reason i experienced so much pain in the last few years. i caused the problems to go so deep- i let them dig so deep- that they became truth and fact in my mind. i can't believe i was about to do it again.

i am now devoting my time to finding these lies and training my brain to label them as "lie", not as truth and hurt and grudge. i am looking for truth in all situations in order to not let myself become vulnerable to lies.

...

prayer is powerful. i am giving these things to prayer and to the Lord. i am giving Him my mind and heart because i know that that is the only place they are safe.

2009-01-12T14:25:00.000-08:00

in a true friendship you learn to carry another person's weight. you learn how to help them and be there for them and in turn, they learn those things about you. true friends share their weight. when one person is going through a hard time or tough situation, the other person steps back and forgets about their own needs, as well as compensating for what their friend cannot do and carrying the extra weight for that person, all without expecting anything back.
true friends share emotions- joy in one another's joy, pain in one another's pain.
sometimes this feels natural. other times it is much easier said than done.

The Heart of Life

2009-01-12T13:55:00.000-08:00

I hate to see you cry
Lying there in that position
There's things you need to hear
So turn off your tears
And listen

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good

You know, it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
But, then your circle of friends
Will defend the silver lining

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
Fear is a friend who's misunderstood
But I know the heart of life is good
I know it's good

writer's block?

2008-07-29T11:30:00.000-07:00

i'm thinking about deleting my blog. it's becoming overwhelming to me, meaning i feel like i have to post stuff but i never really post what i want to. i end up saying what i've been doing, what i will be doing and then not posting for weeks or months at a time. i'd rather use my blog as more of a place for an outlet of thoughts or ideas, but i can't get them out in a way that i'm comfortable with people reading. i have lots of things to say, but don't have the time to put them into well written form.

back when i was in high school and college...

2008-06-04T15:11:00.000-07:00

how is it already june??? seriously. when did that happen! kids alive is in a month and 10 days. this has been a major stress for me lately, especially with rima being in sudan right now- literally EVERYTHING is on my shoulders for this event to be successful. this is not what i was expecting when i "signed up". i'm honestly really happy to be doing kids alive this year and it's going to be great, but it's a whole lot to try to do on my own. the deadline is now in the foreseeable future, not just a date. it's getting to the point where there is no room to slack off and take a break from it. i have to focus my attention which is really hard to do right now. there is so much going on- finals, my best friend moving, the general excitement of summer (including jeff coming home, yay!), and the everyday things that don't tend to stop when i feel overwhelmed/stressed (aka work, school, random events etc).
i'm just excited to be done with june, get into the meat of july, and then be able to relax.

**last night was a ridiculously fun night filled with way too much laughter and complete insanity that i really needed and enjoyed :) [courtesy of beck, marianne, elisabeth, and melin (and of course claude...what a good fellow) also, i think some credit should go to the RIP pops man, shotgun!! men, and the "greetings" crew]

a little bit about myself

2008-05-12T17:23:00.001-07:00

i've been learning a lot about myself lately, specifically when it comes to writing.
i have discovered that i have a VERY hard time writing something "assigned" or with a deadline if i have things going on in my personal life that i haven't released verbally or on paper. sometimes even if i've talked or vented about it, i still need to write it out and just let it go. i'm a very emotional person and my emotions get in the way easily.
i was recently trying to write an article for the children's newsletter at church but i couldn't focus on it or get inspiration to write it. it was about kids alive, which is now on my mind about 75% of the time (that percentage is rapidly rising!). i have known about the article for a week or two, but the deadline snuck up on me and so i found myself trying to force my mind into thinking about it and what i needed say instead of just letting it flow out. something that should have taken me 30 mins to write ended up taking me several days of jotting down thoughts/ideas and then about an hour to put them together and transition them. and i'm still not happy with it. it's now printed, but i'm not content about it.
i think i've put my finger on why it was so hard. every time i would go to work on the article (even a week in advance), my mind would want to write about the current "big deals" in my life and it wouldn't let me focus on what i told it to focus on. i would write one terrible sentence about kids alive and then either lose complete control of the pen and start word vomiting on paper or just stop writing altogether. it was really annoying and just made me mad to the point that i just blocked out the article until literally the very last minute.
i don't know why i didn't just let myself journal and write what i wanted/needed to (i think i told myself i didn't have time? or that it wasn't important or something. dumb.). things would have been so much less stressful if i would have just taken care of things in order. i see that now and will hopefully be able to take care of problems like this quicker in the future.

*this is the reason for so much time between my blog posts. if the things on my mind are too personal to post on here and i don't choose to just write or talk them out, i don't write for weeks at a time.

matrimonia

2008-05-09T11:09:00.000-07:00

the best way to answer the question, "what was your favorite part of your trip?" is to say, "oh, you know, the part where i got married..." [it gets better after that, depending on how well i know the person ;)] i've gotten some fun looks and some majorly confused people :)
so here's what happened. first of all, i blame everything on bailee and louis. and maybe [s]ack (he was in on some of the translation but i really can't blame him for anything).
anyway...it was the second day on the job site and there were several of us standing around talking to the kids and just having a good time. we were teaching each other words and stuff. it was honestly one of my favorite parts of the trip. so after maybe five minutes of this, 2 guys started walking over and tried to talk to us. of course, our spanish knowledge is minimal and their english knowledge is nonexistent, so it was very broken and confusing. we found out that their names were olman and louis. louis was trying to communicate the idea that olman liked me. bailee, being the only one of the two of us actually talking, decided that this was a good time to marry me off. thanks friend :)
so this is the part where i say "si." louis asked if i liked olman. now...it is pretty much impossible to explain in spanish the difference between liking someone as a friend/just liking them as a person in general and actually "liking" them. so all i really could say was yes. well apparently i should have said "no." louis then brought up the idea of "matrimonia" (for any nit-wits out there, that means MARRIAGE!!). and again, my lovely friend who apparently wants me to move away, have nine children and live in honduras for the rest of my life starts encouraging the idea of matrimonia! louis wanted to have the wedding that afternoon. bailee suggested tomorrow. again, thanks friend. you really saved my skin on that one! *note the sarcasm.
here's a picture of the little conversation...olman is in the hat and louis is hiding behind micah, trying to scheme with bailee. (*notice the smile on my face that says, "i'm going to kill you!" not, "thank you. this is fun...")

so that was pretty much the end of the conversation. we left it at "wedding tomorrow". to be honest though, i was worried and felt pretty bad about it all because that isn't extremely abnormal for their culture. i was a little bit scared that he would come the next day expecting something...thankfully he didn't. (BUT, i did have to explain to his parents at the end of the trip why i wasn't going to marry him. that was just awkward. i felt horrible.)
i obviously didn't get married on the trip, but i think i came just about as close as you can. i even picked who was going to be in the wedding and we had a bit of a bachelorette party in our hotel room/by the pool that night. [thank you Lord for this day!]
word spread about the marriage and i would see kids pointing and laughing or the kitchen ladies smiling at me whenever i turned around. it was pretty funny. my favorite lady "sign language" brought it up every day and would point at him then me and give me a hug :) she was great.

okay, that's all i got for this story. have fun with the comments :)

i'm a girl

2008-04-18T00:39:00.000-07:00

okay, i'm going to try to tackle these stories in order of comments...except those of you who said all of them ha. sorry it's taken so long to post again. most of you probably know what's been going on with my grandpa and that's been consuming a lot of my time. thankfully, he's been doing a LOT better and hopefully that will continue.

let me start off this story by saying that i really only pulled the "i'm a girl" card a couple times. here are some pictures of me working, just to prove it :)

we helped build 8 trusses!

ignore my face :)

okay, so now that i feel like i've proven myself a little bit i will go into more of a story/explanation.
it was my full intent to capitalize on the fact that i was the only high school girl going on this trip. why not?? :)
so the very first day, we got to the job site and jeff brady was telling people what they could help with and when he got to bailee and i, he suggested that we leave the job site and go work in the kitchen to prepare breakfast. what a brilliant idea! we were getting out of physical work already. we got to the kitchen and really had no way to communicate (nancy was there to help translate a little bit but she was running around doing other things to make breakfast etc.) with the ladies or ask them how we could help, so we pretty much just stood there. then one of the women came up to me (note: she didn't go up to bailee [aka JUMBO]) and asked if i was hungry. i'm never hungry, but said yes because that's obviously the polite thing to do and partially because "si" is usually the go-to answer when you aren't sure what to say in spanish ha. so about two minutes later the woman comes back with a plate full of breakfast for me. she served it to me about 10 or 15 minutes before anyone else...i would assume because i'm small and probably look, to them, like i need to eat :)
what does this have to do with being a girl? well...the guys came a few minutes later, after working for probably about an hour moving bricks and supplies and i had already eaten, having done nothing at all except watch and stand awkwardly. oh what a life :)

now, i really feel the need to say that i don't recall very many times (or even one time?) where i just said, "no i can't do this, i'm a girl..."
BUT... my lovely friend bailee definitely won some heaven points and creepy points by telling the boys how amazing they were for all of the hard work they were doing, as well as how funny, manly, strong, etc. they were. and i think the amount of times she did that is probably enough to blanket for me, or even the entire female population. haha it makes me proud.

[i think i remember once saying that i didn't want to do something because i was tired and one of the guys did it for me, but i really don't remember it. anyone know what that was? it's bugging me now.]

so this wasn't really the best story, sorry jer and everyone who read it. but the moral is, if you're a girl, you get the easier work and food first even (and especially) when you don't deserve it :)

choose your own adventure, honduras style

2008-04-09T11:23:00.000-07:00

so i want to blog about a lot of different things about the trip but i DON'T want to #1 be boring and #2 be sitting here typing for 12 hours straight.

so here's what i've decided to do- i'm going to post a list of possible blog topics and you can leave a comment about which ones you want to hear more about. some will be really quick stories or jokes and others may take some further explanation. pictures will be included with each specific post. i'll try to write about as many as you ask for. so leave comments and tell me what to write about, and for those of you who went on the trip, enjoy the memories and laughs that will be sparked from this list [and remind me if i forget anything]! :)

the process of building the church
the first service in the church
traveling- bus rides, airports, etc
papa leslie
brothers in roatan
serio!
i'm a girl
"we call those 'players' in america"
how many times will glen say gringos?
women will go to hell if they wear jeans...
molestation monster
i hope you have more than 5 minutes of happiness
the clap
matrimonia??

sad, but true

2008-03-13T15:26:00.000-07:00

i've had a huge desire to write and blog recently but i can't seem to find the time. finals are here and i'm trying to catch up on anything that isn't done as well as finish up final projects and such. i really want to write about several things, but unfortunately i don't have the time to sit and do it. hopefully by the time i go on break i will still have these thoughts and inspirations and i'll be able to write about them. but for now, i need to try to channel my desire to write "recreationally" into a desire to write my 12 page paper...

short, sweet, and to the point...that's how i roll

2008-03-06T13:52:00.000-08:00

one of the latest compliments to my writing was this:

"...very clear and interesting."

i have heard that same comment many times. when i write, i do my best to get my point across as clearly as i can. i edit and re-edit in order to make every sentence say what it needs to, and not much more. but when i write entire papers i tend to be repetitive and, in my opinion, boring.

as much as i like to be clear on concise, i think i'm missing a lot of the fun and creative side of writing. i don't use my vocabulary as much as i could in my writing. it seems to me that everything i write (no matter what the requirements are) is written like a research paper or a textbook. it's informative and maybe interesting, but not recreational, fun reading.

i am jealous of my friends who can write what they want to say, but make it sound elegant or fun. i aspire to write like that.

i would never choose to read the things i write. not because i'm the writer and i think they suck, but because they aren't the types of things that would catch my attention and beg me to read them.

why isn't my writing style reflective of my reading preferences?

today = spring.

2008-02-13T11:37:00.000-08:00

today totally feels like spring to me. it's beautiful and sunny outside and the air is crisp. i went out and took a few pictures after school. here are a couple of my favorites:

it has been a really good day so far. first of all, it's wednesday and i love wednesdays. they are fun and not too busy with school/work. we have a workshop in my english class today and since i finished my paper last night, i have a few hours of free time before class, thus the picture taking and blog :) i usually get out of class about an hour early on workshop days too. yay! i've been keeping up with my homework really well lately. i've never been the kind of student who turns assignments in late or unfinished but i've been cutting it pretty close the past few weeks and it feels good to get back into a steady routine of getting my work done before it needs to be. as part of this new wave of responsibility, i've been doing all of my math homework and really focusing on it. i didn't do too well in math last semester so i'm hoping to try a little harder this time. i had a quiz two days ago that i felt prepared for and studied for and i got my grade back today. i got a 94%!! seriously, that NEVER happens. i was sooo happy :)

on another note...
we had an interesting discussion in my rock and roll class yesterday. the question was "why are americans more tolerant of violence than sex in the media/pop culture?"
it was sparked by david bowie not being able to make it in america (at first) because of his "unacceptable" make-up and dressing styles etc. he was doing an interview and said that eh didn't think americans were able to accept him as an idol or star because he was the first person to really identify himself as bisexual or homosexual. this wasn't a problem in europe, so why was it a problem here?
there was a girl in my class who was convinced that christianity (not just religion in general, but christianity) was the root of the problem. her argument was ridiculous and taken completely out of context and it got on my nerves, but what could i do? i mean if someone disagrees with my religious beliefs and doesn't understand the bible from a christian point of view, of course they're going to take things out of context. some of it was so far off that it was funny and almost sad. i'm glad nathan was there for this discussion so i could share a few laughs with a fellow christian :)
since we ran out of class time, we never came up with a good/satisfactory answer for this question (if there is one) and we're planning to continue it tomorrow. hopefully we'll be able to because several people had some thoughts and insights that i'd be interested in hearing again.

i always knew music was hiding somewhere inside me

2008-02-11T17:06:00.000-08:00

all you really have to do is look at my family to know that music is practically the blood that pumps through us every day and keeps us going. everyone in my family can play an instrument and or/sing (actually, we can all sing but jon and i prefer keeping that to ourselves :). for those of you who don't know, i took piano lessons for 7 years when i was younger.
"what? 7 years? she must be really good!"
you wish! ha. i really don't consider myself a musician of any kind since i quit piano in 6th grade and haven't gone back. i never had a huge interest in any other instruments either so i didn't pick up anything else up when i quit. i was just done. i don't know why, but i didn't care about music nearly as much as everyone else in my family. i loved listening to it, talking about it, singing along, but i did NOT want to play it. maybe i didn't want to be "one of the williams" who could all play an instrument and created the big family band (a funny thought...). i don't remember feeling that way, but i think there's a possibility that as the youngest, i wanted to be different and have something that was my own, not my family's. i played basketball and really enjoyed it and that was enough for me.
well now i have also quit basketball and i kind of wish i was playing music. i know, everyone says that they wish they would have just stuck with it when they were young, but i don't. i'm glad i quit when i did and i'm glad i tried other things in it's place. but now, so much in my life seems to be revolving around music. my classes, my job, my spare time, everything. there are times that i wish i could do more than just sing (to myself...ha). the singing/not singing is another story for another time.
all of that to lead up to this- i wrote a song last night. i was in bed reading psalms and ran across a section that i had underlined a lot and many of the phrases jumped out at me again, so i started writing them down in my notebook. as i looked over all of them, i began to put them in different orders and as i did this, i started to create a rhythm in my mind for them. my intention wasn't to write a song, but as the rhythm came, i started also create a tune. i got the words put together in the way that i wanted them and just worked with the tune until it fit. i sang it several times before i fell asleep so that i would hopefully remember it this morning. it worked and i remembered how it went so after school i came home and no one was here so i sat down at the piano and started finding the tune again. first i was just playing the melody with one hand, but as i got more familiar and started remembering some of my old piano training, i was able to play some extra stuff with my left hand and make it sound pretty good. i'm very surprised that i was able to put it together in my brain and actually get it written out on paper.

is anyone else making the connection that i made when i sat down to write this blog?? just wondering...
i wrote a song last night. that means i wrote the music. that means i wrote the lyrics.
anyone catching on?
i didn't have a specific audience in mind when i wrote this song. it wasn't written to please a certain group of people. but, on the other hand, it doesn't have extremely special meaning to me. i didn't write it because i'm having some sort of issue in my life and i needed to get it out. i wrote it because some words and phrases stuck out to me. so i suppose, the song and more specifically the lyrics, have more meaning to me, the writer, than they do to any audience who would hear them.
you better have caught on by now :)

i don't know if this music writing experience will help me or hurt me in my essay writing, but hopefully it will help. i don't find the lyrics i wrote to be profound or wonderful, but i do know why i wrote them and who they were intended for.
maybe now i will be able to look at my topic from a new angle and be able to determine how i feel about it more concretely.

senior project

2008-02-05T14:42:00.000-08:00

this is my idea for my senior project:
coordinate kids alive this summer (of course with the help and direction of rima). i think this would be a great thing to do as my project because it can be pretty directly related to what i want to do after high school (become a teacher, for anyone who didn't know...). i think it would be fun to work on kids alive and help put it together this year instead of just being a leader for one of the groups.
rima and i have spent some time talking about the curriculum for this year and i've chosen my favorite ones so far and given my input...it looks like it could be pretty cool. we've also talked about some possibilities for a group of youth to take on kids alive instead of adults. that conversation came about before my senior project idea did, but i think it would still be cool to have a group of high schoolers who are the core leaders of the whole week instead of just adults.
here are my thoughts on having hs leaders, not adults:

the younger kids already look up to us, as high schoolers at church etc., even if we don't realize it
kids learn by example...especially the example of those they look up to. US.
this could be a great experience for us- building leadership skills, trusting God for ideas and direction, loving one another
building big/little sister/brother relationships within the church- discipleship starting at a young age

overall, i think it would beneficial for everyone involved if kids alive was led by a group of students, not adults. i'm still praying about this whole idea, but at this point, i think i'm ready to take it on.

organizing my thoughts

2008-02-03T21:04:00.000-08:00

i have a 12-15 page paper to write for my english 102 class and i'm getting started on my brainstorming and stuff. i'm hoping that if i put some of my ideas on here i will be able to get feedback on what is good/bad, expandable, etc. please comment or talk to me if you have some thoughts. here's my topic (justin, you're gonna love this)- should music lyrics be written for an audience (i.e.- easy to listen to, understand, sing along with, "grab a hold of"...) or should they be written with meaning to the author?
first of all, since my paper needs to be argumentative in nature, i need to figure out which "side" i will take. i can easily come up with a "gray area" sort of answer, but it needs to be black and white...
here are my thoughts/ideas, as well as some toss-ups about which side to take:

if lyrics are not made clear to the audience, the could easily be misinterpreted
if someone is going to take the time and effort to write a song with meaning in their life, it is lame that people will inevitably take it in the wrong way and the author will be misinterpreted and misunderstood. in a way, he/she is having other people's words put in their mouth when lyrics aren't taken the right way
lyrics are very contextual
if a song isn't written to please an audience, who's going to listen to it?
lyrics still need to be deep and have meaning, but they should be somewhat easy to understand
if lyrics are too simple, they could cause people (especially younger generations) to think less and essentially do less on a worldwide level (to use this bullet, i would need to be able to quickly, but persuasively prove that music/lyrics have that level of an effect on young people...hmm)

also, i would like to somehow fit blues music and lyrics into my paper. if i can do this, i will have some of my final done for another class :)
i'm really excited about this paper, i just hope i can pull it off with some good arguments. i will most likely be posting more ideas and stuff as i come up with them. and if you're at all interested, i'll post some kind of outline when i have one...

on another note:
i hope to put some pictures up in a couple days. i've been using my camera a lot lately and i'm starting to get some shots that i like. hopefully i'll get some really good ones soon that i can post.

Cornel West

2008-01-28T16:40:00.000-08:00

today in my english 102 class we watched a speech given by Cornel West. (if you haven't heard of him, go find him on youtube and listen to a speech or interview or something. he's amazing.) this particular speech was about being part of a progressive movement in america that works toward removing dogmas duch as white supremacy, male dominance, religious discrimination, homophobia etc. from society and essentially creating equality for everyone.
this is the general focus of our entire class this quarter which is pretty interesting to me, but could potentially be something i get tired of because it's becoming something we talk too much about and can't seem to find a way to do anything about it.
i really enjoyed the speech. West was so passionate and fiery about everything he was saying. he wants to make huge changes in society and i think it's great that he is willing to pour himself into something that most people would render hopeless at first glance. as a christian, he brings religion into the picture in a different way than many speakers would. he essentially says that people need to show the compassion and love that Jesus showed throughout his life and that without that love and compassion, nothing can be done to better the situation we are in.
i thought this was really cool because it was a challenge to me (or any other christian listening to him speak). we, as christians, need to be the leaders in showing love and compassion to everyone. we need to be the first to set aside our differences and be compassionate and loving to anyone and everyone we come in contact with so that the rest of the world can see and follow that example.
that's what i was left with after english today. not what i expected to take out of that class today...but i'm glad i did.

let me just say one more thing...
i love black people. seriously. they are my favorite. i am going to marry a black man. mark my words. :)
they are so passionate about what they believe and they're not afraid to talk about it. how many white people do you see with that same passion and attitude about things? honestly, i can't think of many white people who will stand up for what they believe in and tell you what you don't want to hear even when you need to. this is one of the things i loved so much about visiting jeff's church. there was no sugar coating and you left with the feeling that you needed to change something about your life for the better. conviction? hm.

sorry it's been so long...

2008-01-24T16:32:00.000-08:00

(i think i'm done with the song thing for now)

so i'm in a ridiculously good mood right now.
why? honestly, i'm not completely sure. i'm just happy.
the plane tickets for honduras were purchased today. that's great and just makes the trip feel so much more real. i can't wait! it's going to be so much fun and there will be lots to learn.

there's a lot going on in my life right now that's really exciting to me. i've started reading the Bible a lot more lately and it's been amazing. God has been showing me a ton of stuff about myself and just life in general and i don't even have words to describe what i'm feeling. it's so great. i've realized that pretty much all of these exciting things are related somehow to my growing relationship with God. i will write more about what all of these things are, but not now...simply because i'm still praying about them and making sure they're the right choices and what God really wants me to proceed with.

i've seen some pretty massive changes in my attitude and behavior in the past few weeks and i'm loving it. it's amazing what you can learn when you let God in and ask Him to guide you.

i'm really excited to post some more specific blogs. hopefully it'll happen this weekend. right now i just need to focus on my dumb math final. ha

your power and love is clearly shown throughout the earth

2008-01-03T16:20:00.000-08:00

You Save Me
i feel your loving arms surround me
your hands, they hold me close to you
with perfect eyes you're watching out for me
your warm embrace is ever-present
i fly so high upheld by you
i sink into a warm and loving rest

jesus, you are my protector
you have stationed every angel around me
jesus, you are my provider
you are everything that i will ever need
you save me

when i am tired you come renew me
your heart and hands restore my soul
you lead me to a place of quiet rest
holy spirit, i surrender everything i am to you
my joy, my strength, my life are in your hands

You Are Lord
in every breath i take
i receive the gift of life from you, oh god
in every step i take
i feel the love you freely give to me, oh god

and our voices sing out loud and strong
to thank you for your marvelous, boundless love
all through our darkest night we raise this song of praise
for you goodness and your might

your name, oh god, be praised on high
your power and love is clearly shown throughout the earth
your name, oh god, be lifted up on high
forever we your people will proclaim:
you are lord!

Jesus, Be the First
jesus, be the first, be my guiding light
everywhere you lead i will follow
i pushed you away, gave you second place
now come be the first again

jesus, i need you more than anything i can see
precious jesus, i want you to be my all in all, my king
jesus be the first, go before me now
i will walk behind in your footprints

i pushed you away, gave you second place
now come be the first again
please come be the first again

[begin confusion/sadness]
it's really hard for me to sing these songs anymore. i love them and i think they should still be sung, but i cry every time i hear them. they are so true and great, but seem like such a misleading lie.
i'm having a really hard time putting words to the feelings i have about them right now, so i'm going to stop trying for now.
some of you will understand this post better than others, but just wait for the comment revealing the author of these words and maybe it will make more sense.
[the confusion and sadness will never end]

i wanna look good if i get to look god in the eye

2007-12-26T18:08:00.000-08:00

[i'm pretty sure bailee is the only one who has a chance to get this one without cheating...sorry]

it's been really interesting to look at how we grow out of traditions as as we get older. i was thinking about this yesterday morning as i waited to go downstairs and start the christmas festivities. my family is huge on tradition- anyone who is even remotely close to us knows all about this. we become even more tradition oriented when the holidays roll around, but this year, there seem to have been some changes. more than normal. things get more casual as i get older and in a way, it makes all of the anticipation of christmas morning smaller. this year, my parents let jeff and i be downstairs on christmas eve instead of making us stay upstairs all night without looking downstairs until they let us come down on christmas morning. (granted, we were doing dishes, so it wasn't a great privilege to be downstairs...but different all the same) having to stay in the family room or my room watching movies or playing games is one of the things that defines christmas eve in my mind and it was very odd to not HAVE to do that.
as i said before, we have to stay upstairs until my parents tell us we're allowed to come down on christmas morning, but this year that changed too. my parents told us we could come down whenever we wanted to because jon and jo were going to be a little while longer and they didn't want to make us stay upstairs with nothing to do. so jeff and i decided to leave and get some coffee before we did any of the christmas morning stuff. it was just odd to be able to come down and see the tree and presents before we were going to sit down together and open them.
i guess the upstairs/downstairs boundary played a major part in the christmas morning excitement for me as i grew up and now it's not as big of a deal and it feels weird.
also, we didn't do our normal tradition of meeting with the other side of the family today. what usually happens is we'll meet with one side of the fam on christmas day and then the other on the day after...this year we don't meet with the other side until sunday.
another christmas day tradition- we have always opened presents on christmas morning and stockings on christmas night after we visit relatives. yesterday we did both presents and stockings in the morning so that jon and jo could be here for both. then when we got home from my grandparents, we didn't have anything to do.
it just felt different and weird...not necessarily bad, just weird. this christmas just hasn't felt normal to me. it came and went very quickly and i didn't feel the normal amounts of anticipation as i usually do.
all of that being said- it was also one of the most fun christmases i've had in a long time. we had lots of sibling time which really doesn't happen very often and it was great :)

I'm a hundred kinds of crazy

2007-12-17T12:23:00.000-08:00

i am so happy right now!
i've found several new and really great musical artists in the last hour or so and i'm just sitting here enjoying them. it's so nice. i have no responsibilities for the rest of the day...just relaxing and enjoying my afternoon. this hasn't happened in weeks so i'm really excited about it. i'm going to have the house to myself which i'm pretty sure means loud music and some horrible dancing :) i can't wait. ha.
there are a ton of things other than music that are putting me in a great mood right now. jeff comes home next sunday! yay! i have no math homework...or any homework, for that matter...i've been laughing a whole lot in the last 12 hours (yes...i laughed in the middle of the night ha). i got to see/hang out with kristen yesterday. i'm trying to juggle all of the fun plans i'm making for christmas break and it's exciting. i'm just happy about everything right now. yay for good days :)

Too much to hold on, hold on to

2007-12-08T00:23:00.000-08:00

i have tons of thoughts right now. pretty much all of them have to do with today/tonight.
this morning/afternoon was not great. tonight was fun. work was pretty lame. i'm really excited for tomorrow afternoon and night. i'm glad i wasn't in a bad mood for the whole night tonight. evan almighty is pretty funny at times. i had lots of thoughts on it but they left my brain when the movie ended. i hate getting super nervous about stuff. it just makes me depressed and feel like i'm going to throw up. i'm glowing right now, though. i'm excited for christmas. i was pleasantly surprised today. i love when unexpected things happen. good ones, that is.
sorry about all the randomness. i'm done now.

take a chance watch it fall, grab too much and lose it all

2007-12-06T11:15:00.000-08:00

i've had a lot of things on my mind lately and i need to get them out. i like lists.

malibu
telling my feelings
great friends
christmas/december and family
jobs
finals
scheduling classes for next quarter (any suggestions?)
writing
not wanting anything to do with the high school...
the health of my grandparents
missing old friends
giving advice in tough areas
receiving advice and trying to figure out what to do with it...
being real in my faith
honduras trip- i need girls!! (seriously. i'm not going to go if no other girls sign up.)

that's enough for now. i'm sure that i'll elaborate on at least one of these if not the majority of them very soon. i'm really excited to have some extra free time on my hands in the next few weeks.

then just when we belive we could be great, reality it permeates

2007-11-23T12:25:00.000-08:00

for 10 minutes at the beginning of every english class, we do a journal entry. carmen (the prof) usually puts a quote on the board for us to reflect on in our writing, but on wednesday she handed out a paper instead. this is what was on it:

the miniature earth

if we could turn the population of the earth into a small community of 100 people, keeping the same proportions we have today, it would be something like this:

61 asians
12 europeans
14 americans (from north and south america)
13 africans
1 australian (oceania)

50 women
50 men

10 are homosexuals

33 are christian (catholics, protestants and orthodox)
18 are muslims
16 are hindus
16 are non-religious
6 are buddhists
11 practice other religions

41 live without basic sanitation
16 live without an improved water source

6 people own 59% of the entire wealth of the community

13 are hungry or malnourished
14 can't read
only 7 are educated at a secondary level
only 8 have a computer
only 4 have internet connection

1 adult, aged 15-49 has HIV/AIDS

of the village's total annual expenditures of just over $3,000,000 (US) per year, $181,000 is spent on weapons and warfare...
$159,000 is spent on education...
$132,000 is spent on health care.

if you keep your food in a refrigerator and your clothes in a closet
if you have a roof over your head and have a bed to sleep in
you are richer than 75% of the entire world population

if you have a bank account, you're one of the 30 wealthiest people in the world

25 struggle to live on $1.00 per day or less...
47 struggle to live on $2.00 per day or less...

work with passion
love without needing to be loved
appreciate what you have
and do your best for a better world.

some of the statistics were pretty amazing to think about, but what really hit hard were the last few lines. they speak huge amounts of truth about how we need to live and what each person really wants to be, whether they achieve it or not.

thoughts?

old dirt road, knee deep snow...

2007-11-15T17:20:00.000-08:00

i lost all of the motivation i had earlier today. i was planning to do so much. this seems to happen to me all the time. i feel like i want to get a ton done, but as soon as i start to do it i lose all of my motivation. luckily this time, none of it needs to be done right away. i was just going to get it done before the weekend started....maybe i will get motivation later tonight when i turn on the christmas music! :)

have a good night!

get up and see the sarcasm in my eyes

2007-11-08T14:01:00.000-08:00

this is just an accumulation of things that have been on my mind recently.

last night my family went to jon and jo's for dinner. it was very fun and the food was great. we went for my dad's birthday. it's weird to think about how our family celebrations keep shrinking in size. we usually get together with all of my dad's side of the family for his birthday and my mom's side for hers. (that should have been obvious, but i decided to explain) this year, we are having a very small party/desert with aunt shell and my grandparents. that's it. it suddenly decreased from 12(?) people to 6. uncle ron won't be able to join us since he will be working, so i guess there really should be 7. but it's weird for me. i'm suddenly the only young one in the group! humph.

on another note- i'm going to be in honor society, so i have the "induction" (not a fan of this word...) tonight. it's pretty cool to be part of. it pays to be a teacher's pet! ;)

has anyone else noticed that thanksgiving is in 2 WEEKS!?!?

hhhwow. that came really fast! i think it's a good fast, though. i love the holiday season. i hope that since it came fast that doesn't mean it will leave fast too, though. i can't wait to start getting out the christmas stuff. it makes me so happy to think about!

i'm excited for this weekend. i'm taking my first excursion to olympia without either of my parents in the car :) i will have the freedom to speed at my discretion, turn the music up as loud as i want, and text A LOT while driving. i follow the examples that have been set for me by the wonderful influences in my life.

i really like sarcasm. it's a gift.

i think i'm going to purchase some toms. here is a picture of my favorite ones. tell me what you think.

i get to have coffee with kristen this sunday. i can't wait. i haven't seen the lovely kristen in a very long time. it will be great fun to catch up and, i'm sure, enjoy many laughs.

i think that's all i have for now.

i'll buy you rogaine when you start losing all your hair

2007-11-05T17:39:00.000-08:00

i've been noticing lately how much i love being with my friends. i mean, i've always loved them and loved being with them, but i have just recently realized how much i would miss them if they weren't around anymore. i love that pretty much all of my friends live close by and that i can see them whenever i need a laugh or a good kick back in line. i know this sounds kinda cheesy, but i really do think about it.
another thing i've noticed about my friends is that almost all of them are older than me. except for molly, sara, judy, and rachel, i think all of my "close" friends are anywhere from 3-10ish years older than me. some even more than that. i love all of them for different reasons. some will give me advice, some know when i need cheering up and exactly how to do it, some know me a little better than others, but care just as much, and some are just bad influences ;)
i'm just very thankful for all of my friends and for them being there for me when i need them most. i hope i'm the same kind of friend to you.
i love you guys!

No regrets, they don't work

2007-10-23T12:51:00.000-07:00

*i will be extremely suprised if any of you get this song/artist*

my life!
so today, i left urraco and some guy walks up to me as i'm about to get into my car and he says, "hey, do you want to hang out with me? later?"
my surprised and completely confused answer- "no, i can't." as i hastily got into the car.
what? why? people are crazy.
and yesterday, i was talking to becky while she was roasting and roy comes in. he decides he needs to start a conversation with me which lasted for what felt like an eternity. (with no help from becky. jerk!) during this conversation, that mostly consisted of him talking and me answering ya or uh-huh, he talked about how becky is identical to the girl in buffy the vampire slayer. he then proceeded to tell me about a lady that he saw once that looked exactly like madonna. he talked about random bands and people that were coming to seattle that he really wanted to see, but he didn't have a ride there. i think since i had to tell him once that i couldn't give him a ride, he refrained from asking me for a ride to tacoma to see some band that is apparently exactly like led zepplin.
many thanks to becky (who was standing there the whole time without saying a word), marianne (who walked by and laughed at me), and sue (who kept peeking around the counter). you guys are true friends.

That's the way this wheel keeps turning...

2007-10-21T16:52:00.000-07:00

i've decided that from now until i decide not to anymore, i'm going to title every post with some song lyics. they may apply to the post, they may not. you get some extra lauree points (almost as good as jesus points, but not quite) if you can guess the artist and song. i'm sure some will be really obvious, but i find that i get so many lines of songs stuck in my head and i think this will be a good way to get them out.
that's all for now. i'll update on stuff later.

a couple mysteries of life

2007-10-07T18:25:00.000-07:00

mystery #1:
why do walkers need brakes!?
i mean, seriously, if you need a walker, why would you be going fast enough that you need brakes to stop yourself!

mystery #2:
why do old people choose the ugliest colors to go together and think they're pretty?
example: my grandma was telling me about how she's going to paint one of the rooms in her house. these were her color choices- a light sage for the walls and lavender and white trim! she then went on to say how excited she was and asked me if i thought it was going to be pretty. my reply was that i wouldn't know until i saw it. i couldn't be rude and just tell her it was going to look horrible! but, really, lavender and sage?? i don't know, maybe i really will change my mind when i see it.

mystery #3:
why do cats feel like it's ok to sit on your lap or rub up against you all the time?
i guess this isn't really a mystery because i know the exact answer to it. BECAUSE CATS ARE STUPID!!!
i really do hate them. they think they are so great and they just gross me out. there's always something in their fur and their paws are always wet and think they are your best friend. dumb animals.

overwhelming seems to be a good word to sum up my past week

2007-10-06T22:05:00.000-07:00

oh man. what a week it's been. i don't really even know where to start. how about with my grandparents.
first off, my g-ma went into the hospital last week because she had pnenomia (right before my parents left for spokane) putting a ton of extra stress on my mom. a few days after going into the hospital, they let my g-ma go home. we couldn't tell if this was a good thing because she didn't seem to be much better. her meds made her hallucinate a little bit which is kinda scary. it turned out to not be a good thing at all. she was back in the ER in less than 24 hours of being home. this time she went up to Saint Pete's though. she was up there until monday and went straight to fir lane from there, which is where she still is.
now for my g-pa. he and my mom were sitting in my grandma's room at fir lane when he all of a sudden couldn't see right or remember things that he should remember. so my mom took him over to the hospital to make sure he was all right. this was on wednesday night. the doctors told my mom that since she brought him in so quickly they were able to stop a stroke from happening. he did end up having a blockage in his corroded (sp) artery though. to fix that problem, he needed surgery. so, he got sent to saint pete's and had surgery on thursday. everything went smoothly, but it was just scary and sad to have both grandparents in the hospital/nursing home at the same time. my grandpa gets to come home tomorrow (sunday). yay! my grandma will be at fir lane for a while longer though.
this whole situation has definately brought lots of stress to our house. i think (or at least feel like) i've only seen my mom for like 12 hours the past week. i miss having everyone at the house when i get home from wherever i've been, but recently i've come home from school or work and my mom's been gone somewhere.
it's hard to see both of my grandparents sick at the same time. it was uplifting to see my g-pa tonight though. he looks really good and is moving around on his own really well.
school has also been pretty tough this week. i've had lots of homework and lots of stress in other ways. i had a math test on monday and tuesday. math is my least favorite, and worst, subject so when i have a test i totally stress and worry. i feel like i did ok on most of the test, but there was a section that i know i did horribly on. i know this because he let our whole class have a chance to re-take it, meaning that nobody did very well on it. our chances to re-take were thurs. and fri. before and after school. i wasn't able to go after school on thurs. and forgot in the mornings. so that left friday afternoon. well, i work on fridays until 4:30ish. so i was sitting at work and realized at about 2:15 that this was my only chance to improve the grade that i was sure needed improvement. so i told natalie what was going on and she told me it was ok to go, so i did.
COMPLETE WASTE OF MY TIME!
i couldn't answer a SINGLE one of the questions. not one! i was so mad. i think it was mostly because i rushed to get there and by the time i did get there, i had about 20 mins to finish all of the questions, so i was flustered and never really started thinking clearly. so i wasted an hour of my time that could have been spent at work, where, for some reason i had an extremely busy day.
i got back to work and i wasn't able to finish and leave until 7:00! that's crazy. i'm usually done by 4:30 or earlier, but for some reason, i had a lot more time consuming things to do in preparation for sunday. it was a horrible day.
one more thing about my last week-
i had a sociology quiz over the 1st chapter of our book. the quiz closed on wednesday night and i wasn't ready to take it. i had done most of my reading/studying (which took a long time) but i just wasn't quite ready. well, i took it and did fine. i got a 4 out of 5. it was 10 q's but each question was only worth 1/2 point. i did ok, like i said, but i was upset because you are supposed to finish the quiz in 10 mins or less and a timer is supposed to be on the screen somewhere, but mine didn't show up, so i finished it in like 11 mins. hopefully i don't end up getting points taken off. i think this just added stress because it was a lot of reading to do and it was my first online quiz, so i wasn't quite sure how it was all going to work.
anyway, that was my busy and tiring week. i hope this next week is a little more smooth.

question:

2007-10-01T17:35:00.000-07:00

How can you write songs so full of truth and not come close to applying that truth to your life?

Why do you try to lie when you aren’t good at hiding the truth?

How can you try to back up what you say by twisting God’s word?

Why are you ruining your career with such a gross habit?

Why am I so low on your list? Is it because I’m young? Or am I just stupid?

How can I love you and miss you so much, when you’ve done these things to me and the people i love?

I’m not as dumb as you may think, so how can you take 7 months to talk to me?

Oh wait, apparently you knew and wanted to talk to me, but you just didn’t have the guts…?

i've just been thinking a lot lately and needed to vent a bit. thanks.

(you may not find this to be your typical "vent," but it was enough to make me feel better :)

How Come?

2007-09-20T21:54:00.000-07:00

have you ever wondered about this phrase?
i'm sure everyone has said it before, but if you think about the words, they don't make sense together. how come?
why not just say why?
for some reason i've been thinking about this lately. it doesn't matter, it's just an odd thing.

on another subject...
i feel like fall is finally here.
i have completed my first puzzle (500 pieces in one afternoon), football is on all the time, it's getting dark earlier, the weather is getting worse, and i'm going to school.
i think as it gets dark earlier, it's easier for me to grasp the fact that fall really is here and there's nothing i can do about it. and at the same time, it really makes me look forward to fall really starting and winter coming. i love it.
i love looking out the window and seeing that it's totally dark and then thinking, "oh shoot, i have to go to bed soon" then realizing that it's only 9:30 or something. it's awesome.
and football....i look forward to the fall and winter days to come that i can just sit at home in my sweats for an entire unproductive saturday and watch football nonstop while doing a puzzle. that, my friends, could just possibly be the most relaxing thing ever.
i love football. it is the epitome of fall in my mind. i remember once, a few years ago, i actually cried when football season ended. ridiculous. i know.
and to all of you who hate football and plan on writing me comments on how dumb a sport it is...suck it up, deal with it, it's the best.

my room

2007-09-11T13:09:00.000-07:00

it's all done now.
Betsy finished my duvet cover so it fits right and now i have a body pillow cover that matches the rest of my bed!
it's really clean right now. we'll see how long that stays.
i also got all of my pictures put up (except one) and i have built and switched dressers.
i put the little tv in my room. it's just for nintendo and movies and stuff. yes, nintendo...the original stuff!
and, my mom got me some great red sheets for my bed. i put them on last night and they look great!
sara- you'll be happy to know that i also put up my air chair again :)
i'm very happy with my room.
if you haven't seen it, you need to.

school

2007-09-11T13:03:00.000-07:00

HS classes:
spanish
precalculus
sculpture

running start classes (begins 24th):
english 101
sociology (online)

my schedule is great.
i can still work.
i can see my friends.
i can do stuff during the day time.
all in all great...so far.

the first day didn't seem like it should have been here.
i didn't get the butterflies of excitement or nervousness like i have in the past.
maybe that comes with getting older.
i still don't feel like i have to go to school every day. it's very weird.

vacation

2007-09-11T12:33:00.000-07:00

wow...it's been a really long time since i've written anything. so instead of catching you up in a huge long post, i'm gonna do a bunch of short ones. most of the people who read this already know what's been happening, but i'll fill in the others.

vacation was alright. it wasn't anywhere near exciting :) lets just say that i read about 700 pages of my book on this trip. anyone who knows me very well knows that i HATE reading. it is the last thing i would spend time doing, but i have been trying to get into it a little bit more. i would say that 700 pages constitutes a not very fun and exciting trip, but what can you expect when you go to eastern washington for a week with just your parents and dog??
i'm making it sound like the whole vacation was horrible. it wasn't. i just didn't have as much fun as i would have if a friend would have been able to come.
the trip started out a bit rocky. we got to the campground just fine, found our site, pulled in, and during the parking process noticed that our neighbors must have been camping with the people who were in the site before us because their table was about 3 feet away from ours and a ton of their stuff was right on the line between our campsite and theirs. the people encroching on our space also didn't happen to be in their site the entire day. so to solve the problem, my dad angled the trailer (he's all about angles) toward the water and not as straight into the site because we didn't want to walk out the door of our trailer and be staring at these dumb people.
so the trailer was angled just how he wanted it. i set up my tent and realized that i had no stakes for it, so my dad and i went up to the store as soon as he was done leveling the trailer. we got some stakes and some other stuff and when we got back my mom says, "the ranger just came and asked us to move our trailer so it would be pulled in straight so that we don't drive on the grass." this was one of the most aggrevating things that happened on this trip. my dad had it exactly how he wanted it, it was already leveled, and in order to move it and back it in straight, he would have to drive on the grass the exact same amount of times he would if he jsut waited to move it until we left! it was so stupid.
we moved the trailer, but later saw someone elses trailer even more angled and they didn't have to move theirs....ridiculous!
the last thing making this trip lame was the birds. every day at 10:15 (yes, it was that exact!) a huge swarm of birds would come and land in the tree over our camp site. there were hundreds of them. about 10 minutes after they would come, we would start hearing a pitter pat sound, then every once in a while feel something land on us or on our books or something. these birds would land in the tree, find some berry or something to eat and drop seeds and poo on us all day. it was horrible. they would come at 10:15 and leave at 3:30. you could run a clock by it. it was so weird and really annoying because they made such a huge mess. i took some pictures of my tent. it was covered in gross poop and stuff. if the pics turn out i'll post them. anyway, they were just really loud- it sounded like a jugle, and they made a huge stinky mess.
other than these things, the trip was fine. it was very relaxing...i think a little too relaxing for me. i am so different from my parents when it comes to these things!

eastern washington, here i come

2007-08-25T00:05:00.000-07:00

so, we're leaving for lake osoyoos in approximately 8 hrs. and i haven't packed a single thing, i have 6 or 7 cds to put on the ipod (not crucial, but it would be good to have), i have to get food/towels/brushes for the dog, do some chores that i apparently have to do before we leave (because people are going to be bothered by them while we're gone??), and here i am, writing a blog. i'm good at time management :)
i just had a really bad day today...except for around 9:00 this morning ;)
it's just been really stressful, and i just realized that i have to stop by the church in the morning before we leave and turn in my time card because i forgot today in all of the fluster.
anyway, the main point of this post is to inform you that i'm gonna be gone until labor day weekend, and also to post some pictures of my newly painted room :)
i LOVE it! sara helped me paint and we had a really good time. then, after the painting was done we decided to clean all of the junk out of my room. i ended up throwning away to black garbage bags full of junk. just weird stuff that i didn't even remember having. anyway, here are the pictures:

there it is! when i get back i will put up some pics of my new dresser and duvet cover :)
i'm really happy with how my room turned out.

i'm sure i'll have stories about eastern washington when we get back.

pictures!

2007-08-20T17:56:00.000-07:00

I did it! i'm posting pictures!

the part of the river next our campsite

a big log jam

the bridge

sandy swimming

beau chased the stick too

one of the best pictures- we really were falling over
sandy totally won!

so there are my best pictures. some of the others didn't turn out well.
i really want to get a new camera that has a WAY better zoom and a WAY bigger view screen.
i also want to get a good photo program on our computer so i can edit the pictures.

(maybe a camera that takes film so that i can order a ton of film and not get it on time and then UPS can ___________!!! right beckles?)

Rained out

2007-08-20T14:33:00.000-07:00

As you probably know, my family has been camping for about a week. i didn't really want to be there for the majority of the time, but i did enjoy being outside and at the river. i also enjoyed being able to drive into town on my own. since i didn't really want to be there, i used this privelege a couple of times.
beau came out to stay with us for a night. this was extremely tiring, but he had a lot of fun. i taught him how to skip rocks, which i am very proud of. i really like teaching little kids new things and seeing how excited they get when they can do it. (probably why i want to be a teacher...) i took beau on a pretty good bike ride for a 5 year old. we also went floating down the river in our little boat, after which we got into a splash fight. i won.
as i said in my last post, i am trying to take more pictures of everything i do. so i did take some pictures of the river. i don't know how they turned out yet, but hopefully i'll post them soon.
i also had rachel out to the campsite to spend the night. that was great. we haven't hung out all summer and it was really good to catch up.
i slept in the trailer last night because of the rain and the lack of knowledge about the rain fly/how to assemble it. i borrowed .justin and kristi's tent because my got lost (any help?) and i couldn't figure out how to get the rain fly on, so it let a little bit of water through the sides. it was quite a surprise the first night after it rained to climb into my tent and put my hand in a puddle...
anyway, i slept in the trailer from then on and this morning i was awakened by my parents talking- one of the most annoying ways to wake up! they were talking about the rain and decided it was time to come home because the weather wasn't getting any better. all of this was fine with me, except for the fact that it was 8:35 and they decided then was the time to get up, get dressed, and go out in the rain to retrieve all of our things and pack up. thankfully they let me stay in bed for a little while longer, but then i had to get out of the coziness and pack up all of the wet things outside. not enjoyable.
all of that to say, that for one of the first times i can remember, the rain has actually chased us away from camping.
we're leaving on saturday for eastern washington where there is bound to be more dependable weather...i hope. i'm really excited for the fresh fruit over there.
i think i'm gonna be painting my room on wednesday or thursday. my dad and i are going to buy the paint tonight. i'm pretty excited, but that does mean i have to clean my room...lame. i do enjoy having a clean room, but it's just a lot of trouble for something that i know will only stay clean for a week (if even that).
[mom- you are not allowed to make any comments on that last part :)]

sorry if i rambled a lot in this post...i really have no idea what i said.

here i sit...

2007-08-09T22:02:00.000-07:00

i just visited holzgrove.com...which all of you need to visit. the pictures are fun and the movies are fun too :)

i have a lot going on right now and for the next few weeks.
summer's almost over, but i'm just now starting to do stuff.
my family is leaving to go camping tomorrow afternoon.
we're going to schaffer state park. it's in elma [or at least close to elma].
we go there every year. it's a great place full of tradition and memories. i'm pretty excited to go, but now that i work i'm going to be coming into town early with my dad almost every day.
i'm really excited that i can drive now though. it gives me more freedom to come into town or stay out there.
i'm going to be having some of my friends come and spend the night with us while we're camping. that'll be really fun. i love to show people the place that i feel like i practically grew up camping at.
before my friends come out to camp, we are all going to paint my room :)
i'm painting two walls green and leaving the other two white.
i got a new dresser at ikea which i'm also really excited about. it's a really dark brown, almost black, color that will look awesome with the green wall.
i also got a new douvet [sp] cover for my comforter. it's double sided and is black and white.
i'll take a picture of my whole room when it's finished...maybe a before and after shot?
i can't wait. i've been wanting to paint my room for a long time and now i'm finally going to do it :)

the green one on the top row is the shade of green i want it to be.
i still haven't bought the paint or found the paint chips, but this is a pretty good representation of the green i want.

after schaffer, my family [+judy?] is going to go to this lake in eastern washington.
it's called lake osoyoos. what a weird name...

this map can at least give you a general idea of where it is.
the lake is really shallow and pretty warm.
since it's right on the border of wa and canada, there's border patrol boats that go back and forth along the lake all day. it's pretty cool to watch.
the closest city is about 3 miles away, but it's really small. there are no restaurants or anything. it's mostly just antique shops and stuff.
canada is about a 20 min. drive away from the place we camp, so we usually take a day trip to canada.

i'll have to put up some pictures of our new trailer for everyone to see. it's pretty nice. especially when you compare it to our old one. i'll try to put a picture of it up too.
we definitely have a nice upgrade.

my goal for these camping trips is to take a lot of pictures.
we'll see how that goes.
i hate our camera, so i don't use it very often, but we'll see how i do :)

unconditional love

2007-08-06T19:55:00.000-07:00

the Bible has a lot to say about love. in the concordance of the NIV Bible there are more than 335 references to love. i have been called to love all people, no matter what their situation, no matter who they are, no matter what they believe, no matter how hard it is. as christians, we have all been called to love these people. there are so many conditions that can keep people from loving others. it's ridiculous. some conditions seem worse than others, but they really aren't. in my opinion, those "conditions" are actually sins. and God has told his followers that no sin is greater than another and that we need to love the sick, poor, hungry, wretched, undesirable, sinners. love your neighbor as yourself. a common phrase for christians. sometimes a phrase that i stop listening to or reading because it is talked about almost too much, like a really good song you hear for the first time on the radio that you end up hating by the end of the week because you hear it too much. love your neighbor as yourself. love the sinners in you community. love the sinners in your church. love the sinners in your family. love the sinners in your country. love the sinners you work with. everyone is a sinner and deserves as much love as the person next to them. every outcast deserves as much love as the pastor of your church. unconditional love. love your neighbor as yourself. love those who have hurt you in the past. love the people that continue to hurt you as you read this. love is for everyone to give and receive, no matter what has happened or what will happen. jesus loved everyone he came in contact with. jesus loved the cripples, the diseased, the annoying, the smart, the nice, the happy, and the sad. there was no one who went unloved. why do humans look down on others? better yet, why do we as christians look down on others? why do we stop loving those who need it the most? why is it so hard to love the people who we have loved before, but have made a mistake and gone the wrong way? love your neighbor as yourself, no matter what the circumstances may be.

unconditional love.

i really needed that because i've been trying to love people who have hurt me in so many ways for a long time. i'm not saying that i am able to do all of those things i just talked about or answer all of the questions i just asked, but we all, as christians (or even non-christians) need to think about love and how every person on earth deserves love and compassion, even if they don't seem worth the time or energy.

i know i need help to love the people i "hate." i know i can't just simply love them all of a sudden. but i am willing to try my best.

my week...

2007-08-03T09:45:00.000-07:00

it's been a while since i've posted a blog.

here's why-i will take you through each day:

Friday (last week):

work @ 9:30am
busy at work
leave shelton @3:45
go to kent/des moines
see jeff
pick up jeff
get home late

Saturday:

sleep in until 11:30 ( i hardly ever do this)
help jeff get ready for his show
go down to uracco @ 5
get cords from the church
listen to jeff play at uracco (7)
go to faith/megan's for games until 1pm

Sunday

get ready for church
get coffee, listen to ipod
go to second service
drive to the mccombs @ 2pm
hang out with kaylee/brendon/wyatt
drive home
sit and watch friends (i could have blogged at this time...)
hang out with jeff

Monday

hang out with the judah man at urraco
get coffee/do madlibs
drive to olympia with jon/jeff (a great time with just the 3 of us...hasn't happened in...ever?)
get home from olympia @ 4ish
prepare for bbq for jeff
hang out with friends and family until everyone left

Tuesday

work @ 12:30
get off work and hang out with jeff
eat a yummy dinner with just our fam.
play some croquet
watch "ewoks: battle for endor" (yes, you can laugh :)

Wednesday

leave for the airport at 8am
drop jeff off
go to ikea
get a new dresser and a cover for my down comforter
go to camping world :(
sleep in the car while mom and dad are in camping world
drive home
start housesitting for my aunt and uncle
have friends over to spend the night with me

Thursday

get up @ 10
go to work @ 12:30
get coffee after work
drive home and see mom
go back to my aunt and uncles
hang out w/ faith and megan
watch tv/play with the puppy
sleep

so now you know my busy schedule and why i haven't been blogging recently.

by the way- i really like lists. it's easier to write, easier to read, and it takes a lot less time :)

I have lots of things on my mind...

2007-07-24T22:37:00.000-07:00

Apart from being furious with all of my close friends (I'm still trying to figure the dream thing out) I have many things on my mind. Some good, some stressful. For those of you who didn't understand the beginning comment, talk to me in person or by email because i would tend to ramble if i tried to explain here :)

The Good:
Jeff is almost in Seattle. He will be here at midnight tonight.
itunes/ipod
Jamie Cullum (his music is putting me in a great mood right now)
House sitting next week. (pool, bonfire, friends, puppy, fun)
the great conversations I've been having lately.
a day off tomorrow!

The Stress:
I don't get to see Jeff until Saturday, even though he is so close.
Women's ministries newsletter
Pens getting stolen from my desk :) (this one seems dumb, but 2 of the best pens ever have been stolen from my desk at work since I started, so I bought some new ones...)
Cleaning my room/doing laundry
House sitting next week. (responsibilities...)
Driving a car that doesn't belong to me.
Work on Thursday.
The meaning, if there one, of my recent dreams.

That's mostly it. As you can see, the stress outnumbers the good by a lot, but most of the stressful stuff will be relieved pretty quickly.
For some reason I feel like i've listed everything, but a different part of me feels like i'm holding something back. It feels almost like having to burp and not being able to. Lame.

Goodnight everyone.

This is for Becky...

2007-07-20T16:19:00.000-07:00

So Becky was wondering "what the heck thoughts of an elbow means," so I shall now explain.

.justin gave me the nickname "elbow" when he first came here several years ago. I don't really know or remember what it means, but i think it has to do with my 1st initial, L. (.justin, if you read this and i'm completely wrong, I'm sorry...kind of) It stuck, but only with .justin. I'm not kidding. He is the only person who calls me elbow and when he does people always get a weird look on their face. it's actually pretty funny.

Anyway, I was trying to come up with something unique for my blog name and he suggested that it have something to do with "elbow," so I thought about it and came up with my current name.

There. I hope that helped solve some confusion.

It should be easy, shouldn't it???

2007-07-14T18:39:00.000-07:00

I think every christian goes through a time of being unhappy with church and especially worship. I also think that most christians who have a blog write something in it about how/why they are unhappy and what people need to do to make it better.

There is the first problem. PEOPLE don't need to do anything. It's all between God and the worshiper. It doesn't matter how you worship, as long as your heart is in the right place. It shouldn't matter what other people do or what you want them to do. They worship in one way, you worship in another. It's all for the same God right?

I'm hoping to write this blog with a lot of insight as the "worship leader's daughter" and from coming from a pretty traditional christian family (who is very music revolving). I really hope this is useful.

I came to the realization that it doesn't matter how it just matters who you worship, several months ago. I think i've had that mentality for a while, but it finally became real about 3 months ago when we visited Jeff and got to see how his church service was done. Since i didn't have a blog then, I didn't write anything about it, but today we got a recording of one of his church services in the mail and I re-realized some of that stuff.

Jeff's church is a small, black church. Maybe 100 (?) people in the congregation. They meet at a local high school. Opposite of FBC tradition, the worship team doesn't have any type of practice during the week or before the service. They come in on Sunday morning, play the music they feel God has led them to play, and do it for God only. Not to please people.

Most people reading this know me well enough to know that I am totally not a racist person AT ALL, but you may have noticed that I described Jeff's church as a black church. That shouldn't really matter, but I believe that in most instances, black people have the right idea- it doesn't matter that the songs sung on Sunday are 10 or 20 years old. It doesn't matter if they are hymns. It doesn't matter if they are loud. What matters is that they praise and glorify God.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like predominantly white churches are the ones who have trouble pleasing people and in turn may not please God. After experiencing Jeff's church, I feel like those people really get it. They don't care that they are singing an out of date song. They don't care that one song is really loud. They don't care when the person standing next to them in church worships God by dancing or yelling or clapping. It doesn't matter! They have a one-on-one, personal relationship with God. That's what church and worship should be about.

Anyone who has led worship at FBC has gotten some kind of complaint about the song choice, the volume, or the instruments. People who leave comments like that just need to give up and, instead, encourage those who are trying to lead people to a place where they can experience God. They need to stop worrying about the dumb little stuff and just let it be what it is and have that personal relationship with God. Let go of what you're used to. Experience something new and different. Experience God.

Being Green

2007-07-12T16:01:00.000-07:00

I was watching Ellen the other day and it was her "Green Show."

Let me back up a second. I have never really thought about the whole global warming and saving energy thing. It has always seemed like a total over-reaction and something pretty irrelevant. I've always thought the same about organic stuff too. It just seems like too much of a hassle to start a garden and keep it up or go to the store and buy organic foods that have no taste. I know it's better for me, but right now, I'd rather have yummy stuff to eat.

That being said, I was watching Ellen's Green Show on Tuesday and she gave a ton of tips on how to "be green." It was actually pretty cool. The thing that really caught my attention was about light bulbs. If everyone replaced 1 regular light bulb with a CFL (Compact Fluorescent Light) it would be the equivalent of taking 1 million cars off the road. In other words, it would save a TON of energy. I thought that was pretty amazing.

You can go here and read a lot more about all the different ways to save energy, pollute as little as possible, and get ideas about organic stuff. It's pretty interesting. A little can go a long way.

This is the first time all of this stuff has been put into good comparison and actually mattered to me...wow.

*this is way off the topic, but everyone needs to go to my last post and read the 2nd comment my mom left. It's worth it :)

My favorite boys

2007-07-10T09:24:00.000-07:00

I was just going to put up pictures of Judah and Beau, but as I looked at my pictures I found some I couldn't resist putting up. So I guess Judah and Beau are the only "boys."

My brothers. These pictures capture a lot :)

And I can't finish a post about my favorite boys without including a pic of my dad.

Don't worry girls...you'll be next :)

The worst 4 days of my life- I'm not kidding

2007-07-09T14:53:00.000-07:00

I had a hard time trying to figure out what the title of this one should be. Here were some of the contenders:

Biggest waste of $280
I have strep throat
I don't actually want to play basketball anymore

With those 3 additional titles you should be able to figure out how this blog is gonna go. Actually, let's just make those titles little subtitles and I'll tell you why each of them is true...

Biggest waste of $280
Before I begin my rant about money, let me say that I am thankful that we went to a different camp this year than last year because last year's camp cost $360. That's way too much for 4 or 5 days of camp where 2 of the days are spent riding for 8 hours in the car.
So this year the b-ball camp was at Gonzaga for 4 days. (i don't really remember what I wrote in the last post so I hope I'm not too repetitive) For those of you who don't know where Gonzaga is, it's in Spokane, only a few minutes away from Whitworth where we have gone to camp in the past. So far I have given you a lot of unneeded information, but this will go somewhere, I promise.
We left Shelton at 7:00 am on Thursday and arrived in spokane at around 1:00. We took a few pit stops for food and at the stuff. Then, before we went to Gonzaga we went to a mall in spokane. Some of the girls thought it was really cool and big. I didn't find it that impressive. Anyway, we ate lunch at the food court where I ordered a slice of pizza. It was all fine and good. No sore throat. (if you read bullet or "subtitle" number two, that comment will make more sense).
Now I'm skipping a few hours ahead. We played our first game of camp and did some individual skills and a thing called "team concepts." Team concepts was one of the things that made the $280 too expensive. I didn't find those 40 mins. to be very enlightening. Anyway, we did those three things and.....wait.....I never mentioned that the whole time we were playing and sitting and doing drills on the TENNIS COURTS the temperature was 105 degrees. I capitalize TENNIS COURTS because they actually create more heat and cause the temp you're feeling to be 10 degrees hotter. Great.
By the time we were done with the things I mentioned, we had dinner and watched the varsity play a game. Then we headed back to our hotel (more on the hotel later). At dinner, we had an outdoor bbq, which was really lame because it was still scorchingly hot and there is practically no shade where they had the bbq set up. I ate a burger and some other stuff, but as I ate, my throat began to not want me to eat or swallow or anything. By night time, my throat was so swollen I could hardly swallow water or even my own spit....nasty.
I'm sure that what I have written so far has not convinced you that this camp was a waste of money, but give me time...you will be convinced.

I have strep throat
Let's jump ahead a few days from thursday to today...an hour ago actually. I just got back from the doctor where they swabbed my throat and it immediately tested positive that I do have strep throat. Big time suckiness. The worst part is not being able to swallow. It's not cool. My mom made me jello and I couldn't eat it. Can anyone tell me what is softer than jello???
Ok, so back to thursday night. I didn't want to be at camp in the first place, then I started to feel really crappy. My throat really hurt, I was hot, and I was tired. I'm sure the rest of the girls felt the last two things, but it just makes my throat situation seem worse if I add them to my list :) I had a hard time sleeping Thurs. night because I couldn't breathe normally. And maybe you don't know this, but I learned it over the weekend- you have to swallow a lot in your sleep. Those of you who drool excessively in your sleep need to work on sleep swallowing. Not being able to swallow was very hard and I ended up drooling so much in my sleep and I hardly ever drool. It was really gross.
So I woke up Friday morning at around 7:00 and felt way worse than the night before. I told my coach i wasn't feeling well and she could tell i didn't feel well because i guess i looked like it too. Awesome. (if for some reason you don't really know me very well and you're reading this, i should let you know that i'm very sarcastic and sarcasm isn't the easiest thing to create in writing. just keep that in mind as you read this :)
Our team had a game at 9:00 and my coach told me that she would just sub me in for people here and there so I didn't have to play a ton. I ended up playing about 5 mins out of that game. Then we had the extremely useful team concepts...grrr and a 3 on 3 tournament at the tennis courts. I sat out the 3 on 3, which actually turned out alright because there were 7 girls on the team and when you take me out that makes 6...2 perfect 3 on 3 teams. That math was for you Molly :)
Lunch was next. I went through the line and got some food. This is what I could tolerate eating- 3 cherry tomatoes, 1 little slice of cucumber, and 3 bites of soft looking snickerdoodle. Since I was so tired, i just laid my head down on the table and tried to sleep. I think I dozed off once, but i never really slept. Actually, I cried a little bit. My throat hurt that bad and i really didn't want to be at b-ball camp.
After my coaches realized that I really couldn't eat anything and I really didn't feel good they decided to take me back to the hotel. Here's the quick story about the hotel:

The camp overbooked the Gonzaga dorms so they had to send some teams to nearby hotels. Our team was chosen because we were one of the teams that had to travel the farthest to get there. We were all so excited. We got our own bathrooms/showers, bigger beds (I didn't have to share one!), a pool, TV, and best of all AC! It turned out to be a great situation :)

So the varsity coach, Wallwork, took me back to the hotel and I stayed there until dinner. I went back and tried to eat again. This time my meal consisted of a meatball and a half, and 2 bites of fried rice. That's it. No joke. I then went to my team's last game of the day and kept the score and ran the clock and stuff. It was good to be involved. After that I went and saw the trainer who took my temp. and I had no fever, but he didn't even look in my throat to see if he could tell me if I needed go to a doctor or something. He just said to drink lots of water and get more sleep. What a helpful guy. I already knew that.
My coach took me back to the hotel and I stayed there the rest of the night...and all day Saturday....and all morning Sunday. The hotel bed and I were best friends :) I slept, ate nothing, watched a lot of tv, and hardly talked to anyone at all. Wait, I lied. My mom had a friend (actually more like a friend's sister) who lives in Spokane come and look at my throat (since no one else would) and bring me a milkshake and some cough drops and stuff. That was very nice.
She decided that I probably had strep and she was right.

I don't actually want to play basketball anymore
This is a very true statement. I think I knew this before the whole camp experience, but i went to camp partially because i wanted to give b-ball another try and partially because we had already paid and I didn't have a good reason to back out...until i got there of course....stupid.
So you may be like, wait a second, Lauree loves basketball. Why would she want to stop playing? When did she decide that?
I have kind of been feeling this way since the middle to end of last season. I think it's mostly because I know what I want to do with my life and basketball is DEFINITELY not it. It has been something that is really hard for me to decide and admit. I've lost lots of hours of sleep over this, but I really do think it's best for me to focus on school and work and accomplishing what i want to do with life. I know i'm not going to go far with basketball. I know i'm not that great of a player. I don't want to waste my time with something that i'm not going to pursue in the future. All of this is VERY hard to admit and even think about because I still love basketball and I still enjoy it, but i really am done playing competitively. I'm sure i will miss playing during b-ball season and I will miss my friends and there will probably be a void for a while, but I believe it's the right decision. I don't want to be uneasy and worrying all season like I was last year.
This isn't a set in stone final decision about not playing next season, but it's almost for sure.

Not wanting to play ball next season is definitely a big reason why this camp was a waste of money and time.

I had a lot of time to think about all of these things during my sick days at camp and it's all very hard for me. We'll see how it all turns out, but now you know why I had the 4 worst days of my life.

Thanks for reading this extra long post. And if you didn't actually read it, that's ok. I skim too :)

I started my blog at a bad time.

2007-07-02T22:44:00.000-07:00

So I'm realizing that I should have started my blog next week instead of yesterday because I'm just not going to have the ability to update for a week. That's a pretty lame start! I'm going to be super busy from now until next Monday.
The madness starts tomorrow. I'm working at the church till 3ish, then I have to come home and work in my neighbor's yard. This is becoming a common ritual for me. It's a little bit overwhelming. I get really tired of working at my neighbor's house because I do little pitiful jobs that don't seem to make a difference. I don't want to complain about them because they're old and I love to help them, but I feel very responsible. If I can't go for some reason, I feel horrible. Anyway, I have to go there tomorrow. After that, I will be rushing around trying to prepare to take our trailer out to my grandparent's house for the 4th of July. My mom and I are trying to convince my dad to let us spend the night out there tomorrow. It would be really fun.
The thing I'm looking forward to most during this busy week is the 4th. My family always goes to my grandparent's house out on the bay. We stay there all day for food, family, friends, fireworks, and a lot of fun. (no, I didn't plan the "f" thing) The 4th of July is pretty much my favorite holiday.
The thing I'm not looking as forward to in the week is basketball camp. I leave Thurs. morning at 6:30. Way to early! The camp is at Gonzaga, where the temp. will be really hot. Since it's a team camp, our team will be playing 3-4 full games a day, along with individual skill practice and 6 hours of sleep. It's insane. Some of the games are outside on cement courts in the blazing sun. I'm definitely not excited about that. By the way, did I mention that games are 40 mins. long with only a 10 min. halftime. I think I will die. I''m not exaggerating. That's a lot of practice and extreme heat, and loss of sleep for not even knowing if I'm going to play next season. But that's another story for another time...
All of that to say that I'm not going to have time (or a computer) to blog for the next week. So don't think I'm lame. I'm sure I'll have all kinds of stories and maybe even pictures from camp and the 4th when life slows down sometime next week.

starting out

2007-07-01T17:09:00.000-07:00

After thinking a lot, I decided to create a blog. Kristi, Justin, and others did a lot of prompting and finally convinced me to start one. Kristi also reassured me that i would have a lot to write about even though I don't feel like it right now. I hope I do find things to write about because I don't want to waste people's time with insanely long ramblings that don't lead to anything.

We'll see how this goes.

For the future, I like a lot of input on things I write because if I don't get any comments, I just figure that no one read it or thought it was worth reading.

I hope you enjoy the thoughts of an elbow.